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Stories Submitted thoughts and stories My personal recovery journey
Stories Submitted thoughts and stories My personal recovery journey
My personal recovery journey |
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anxiety | coping strategies | creativity | depression | employment (+) | exercise | female | obsessive compulsive disorder (ocd) | peer support | phobias | service provider | suicide | support from friends | support from mental health professionals | taking control | volunteering
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Author: Susan Forsyth Published: 18 September 2007 Susan Forsyth experienced long periods of unemployment as a result of her mental health issues. By making changes in her life she was able to work toward her dream job, beginning with volunteering. Now a professional support worker for a mental health charity, Susan shares her personal journey from enduring to enjoying life. Today was just like any normal day for me, working alongside colleagues at a mental health organisation. We did some thought provoking Mental Health First Aid training and it made me think back to my own challenges. I’m 43 and have had depression and anxiety since I was a child, along with agoraphobia and a dash of OCD. In fact, most of my life has been lived in the shadows. I told no-one of my fears and dark despair, I was too frightened and too ashamed. I saw one psychiatrist when I was 11 years old but hid behind my age - I didn’t know what I was doing. I was unemployed most of my adult life; since the age of sixteen I rarely worked, I lied and dodged my way through. I became invisible to everyone - I never went dancing, I never kissed anyone - Life was to be endured. I regularly felt suicidal but it only became a real option for me when I hit forty, the great milestone. Looking back and making an assessment of my life I realised had nothing to show for the years. One day I was at yet another interview at the job centre. The interviewer wore a tie bedecked in cards - the King and Queen, hearts and clubs. The frivolity of the tie caused me to reflect on what I was doing with my life; I suddenly felt very silly and pointless. Was this my life, a circle of lies and deceit? I had reached a crossroads and it was really very simple. Either go and ask for help or just stop trying. I thought over my options for a while. One night was very dark and I was very scared. That night was my epiphany. I went to see the GP, I had been before but this was the point of no return. I had no one to talk to and had reached the end of my tether. Thankfully, he listened. He became my anchor and kept me going; this was the start of my journey to recovery. I discovered I wanted to work very much and became involved with the West Lothian Volunteer Centre. I received one on one mentoring, and started to build friendships and a support network. I started volunteering with Chest Heart and Stroke Scotland and went on to work with Shaw Trust. From each of these sources, I met positive individuals who never patronised but always believed in me. They genuinely cared for me and encouraged me to reach for the moon. I confided that I wanted to be a support worker. I applied for jobs and, amazingly, I got my dream job - working full time in a mental health charity. I aim to support individuals just like me, I try to be real and I am honest about my own mental health - which is not bad these days. I work very hard to stay well; I exercise, I write in my journal and I buy wee treats for myself. I forgive myself for not being perfect. I have worked for over two years and have kept well. My colleagues support me and recently helped me to feel confident enough to travel abroad. Last year, I completed the Peer Specialist Support training which transformed me again. Sometimes I think it’s a miracle that I’m here, working and living a life. I still have fear as my companion, but I’ve tried to make it a friend (I’m trying!). I know everyone talks about ‘hope’, as if it’s the jargon and the latest fad. The thing is, it’s not jargon. It’s the light in the darkness which kept me going; the wish and yearning for change. I realised that I am worth something, that I matter. I take each day as it comes and I count my blessings. If you’d like to share your thoughts or experiences of recovery then contact us on This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or 0141 240 7790 to discuss. Click here to go back to previous page |
Story Tags
activism community/socialising/inclusion coping strategies creativity depression employment (+) exercise female hospital male medication medication (-) peer support (informal) and befriending seeing things differently self knowledge/learning/growth self management sense of self support from family support from friends support from mental health professionals supportive spouse/partner taking control talking therapies voluntary mental health services volunteering Story disclaimer
The stories presented here are for information only. They are meant to inspire hope and show that recovery can and does happen. The stories highlight various examples of recovery and we do not advocate any of these experiences as the ‘right’ way to recover. Recovery is an individual and unique process, each person must decide for himself or herself what will work for them. Please carefully consider any decisions you make about your own recovery and consult with someone you trust if you feel unsure. See our Submit Your Thoughts pages for details on how to submit a story to us or you can contact us.
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