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Stories Submitted thoughts and stories A story of personal recovery
Stories Submitted thoughts and stories A story of personal recovery
A story of personal recovery |
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female | peer support (informal) and befriending | seeing things differently | self harm | self help groups | service user involvement | taking control | talking therapies | therapeutic community | voluntary mental health services
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Author: Lyn MacKay Published: 30 July 2005 After a stay at her local hospital Lyn MacKay was referred to the Cassel Hospital in London to receive specialist supportive treatment. In this story Lyn talks about her experiences and explains, and praises, the Cassel’s work in aiding her recovery. Up till my early thirties I had never had any dealing with mental health and was probably one of those people who thought I was “fine” and would never be unwell. With hindsight I have proved to have been very much mistaken. I was admitted to Leverndale very suddenly and can clearly remember the first day and then nothing for the next 3 weeks, but I do know that the care I received was top notch. Looking back, all the staff were supportive and very good at explaining what was happening. I did not even know where the hospital was and was very confused, but they made my first stay easier to handle and not particularly scary. I thought after my discharge everything would be back to ‘normal’ and things would be “fine”, but the more I tried to return to my old life the more I became unwell. About this time I started to self-harm and this would prove to be a major hurdle for me to overcome; it still is a continuous battle. My cutting got out of hand very quickly and resulted in more admissions to Leverndale. Fortunately I now have more control over my self harm and, although it is a battle that will probably continue for a long time, I view it differently now. I spent the next few years trying to get back on track and was eventually in Leverndale for quite a time when psychotherapy was suggested. However, it was decided that as an out patient this treatment would be very hard going. My consultant had heard of a place in London called the Cassel Hospital, which is a therapeutic community and takes patients from all over the country but mainly from within the M25 radius. After all the usual to and fro-ing regarding finance and assessments I was offered a place. This meant I would stay in London for a year - it turned out to be 14 months- and fly home for a weekend once a fortnight. By this time I had realised that something needed to change for me to move forward, so I was keen to try anything new; I did not realise quite what was involved or how hard it would be, but it was probably better that way. The Cassel is a centre of excellence and takes patients with either long-standing mental health difficulties or patients who have proved difficult to treat in main stay hospitals or centres. There are two main units for either young people under 24 or adults. There is also a unit which is for families, and this part of the hospital makes it more like a community in the “outside world”- when children are around one has to be more aware of one’s behaviour and how it impacts on everyone else. I found the interaction with the youngsters very motivating and enjoyable, it allowed me to feel that I was worth a bit more than I had thought and realised that I could be of help to others. One part of the Cassel therapy is peer support and, once I understood the full meaning of how it worked, it proved invaluable to my recovery. It is one part of the Cassel that I really miss and sometimes wish it could be replicated in Scotland. My first few days in the Cassel were like nothing I had ever come across before; the staff challenge everything you do and you never get used to that, but it does make you think. I imagine it takes a certain type of nurse, someone who is very caring and very sure of themselves, as we were encouraged to challenge them in the same way that they challenged us. I settled very quickly, and started to look at what I was doing and how I had been. One of the philosophies of the Cassel is to allow people to be individuals, each person with their own gifts and values; we were taught how to recognise, utilise and encourage them. Each patient was able to take responsibility for his or her own actions and for the running of the hospital, and this was very different from where I had been before. The staff and patients work together in cleaning, cooking, leisure activities and the day-to-day running of the hospital. In the Cassel you have individual psychotherapy twice a week and group therapy once, but more importantly everything you do is examined. You are encouraged to look at your behaviour and how what we do has an impact on others, but also what others do and how much that can impact on you. After a while I found therapy very helpful, but it took several months for me to see the benefits and that the therapist was not the enemy. As the majority of people in the Cassel abuse themselves in many different ways, this creates a very mixed bunch of people who one would not normally mix with and that is also an important part of the day-to-day running of the hospital. The Cassel is like no other hospital I have come across because, as the patients run the place with the staff, this allows people to take some control back. Most psychiatric units do not allow the patients to do anything, but the opposite is the strength of the Cassel; as you grow to realise that you can do things, you can be “normal” and you can get better. It is by no means an easy path and it was only with the support of people around me, around both patients and staff, that I was able to continue to develop and grow. Without exception every member of staff in the Cassel helped, from the admin staff to the therapists. There have also been others, one in particular who believed in me long before I believed in myself; Bernadette McManamon is a member of the PAC nursing staff in Leverndale and has been a continuing support from the moment we first met. She follows the ethics of the Cassel and will ‘not let me away’ with my manipulative behaviours, and although I may not always thank her it has been proved that it does work. I think it is important to have at least one person who is constant and who knows what you were like and how much things have changed, who is able to remind you when things get tough - Bernadette has been that person for me. My consultant has always listened to me and I have been able to be involved in my treatment. Many people say that the Mental Health Service is bad and under funded, and that people are left to one side. I can honestly say that I have had wonderful care and support, which is continuing with RAMH. Recovery is a long journey and sometimes when I get lost, if I can look back and see just how far I have come, I marvel at who I am now. Part of my recovery started the day I realised that things were not right. There have been very many obstacles and at times the road is long and lonely, but taking one step at a time and learning to accept support are two of the most important lessons. I have learnt that recovery is very individual and that each person will want, and achieve, different things. I still have a way to go, and on reflection have come a long way with out realising it, but I would not have been able to come so far without the help and support of many people. I have to say that without the Cassel and its staff I would not have come this far on my journey, and it is a great shame that in Scotland there is nothing to equal the type of treatment available in the Cassel. 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Story Tags
activism community/socialising/inclusion coping strategies creativity depression employment (+) exercise female hospital male medication medication (-) peer support (informal) and befriending seeing things differently self knowledge/learning/growth self management sense of self support from family support from friends support from mental health professionals supportive spouse/partner taking control talking therapies voluntary mental health services volunteering Story disclaimer
The stories presented here are for information only. They are meant to inspire hope and show that recovery can and does happen. The stories highlight various examples of recovery and we do not advocate any of these experiences as the ‘right’ way to recover. Recovery is an individual and unique process, each person must decide for himself or herself what will work for them. Please carefully consider any decisions you make about your own recovery and consult with someone you trust if you feel unsure. See our Submit Your Thoughts pages for details on how to submit a story to us or you can contact us.
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