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coping strategies | ect | female | hospital | money | peer support (informal) and befriending | physical illness | relaxation techniques | seasonal affective disorder | self knowledge/learning/growth | sense of self | statutory mental health services (+) | suicide | support from friends | support from mental health professionals | supportive spouse/partner | taking control

Published: February 2006

This story shows how keeping active in the community in various organisations can influence recovery.


My life is just so different now. I can hardly imagine that I’m the same person who got so desperate and couldn’t see any future at all.

I became ill when my financial situation was looming very large and I was anxious about my mother's health. I had ME, or chronic fatigue syndrome, and just couldn't cope; I ended up making two suicide attempts. I went into hospital and was heavily sedated. I had eight sessions of ECT and during the second month, when the medication wasn’t so zombifying, I began to think positively and enjoy life again. I got a lot of support from the staff and from the other people who were in the ward, and also from all my friends who visited - though I didn’t always remember that they had visited because of the ECT leaving gaping holes in my memory! My husband has helped me relearn a lot of this missing information and he has been a fantastic and loving support throughout.

After I came out of hospital, I got great support from the day unit too. I used to meet with a group of people who also had mental health problems and who were on their road to recovery. Some of the things we did were very enjoyable and it was great just to be doing something entirely different and be away on your own. Relaxation was one of the good things we did there, and visualisation; I invented the concept of the ‘thought traffic control officer’ visualisation: all these thoughts were bombarding my brain and I imagined that, instead of them all coming in at once and crash landing, the traffic control officer would bring them in one at a time. I found that a great visualisation. Then I got help from the Occupational Therapy department, who helped me tackle a phobia that was connected with where I had made one of my suicide attempts.

I have also found that there are resources within the community, amongst your friends and contacts as well as amongst the professionals that you can call on. The psychiatrist that I’ve been seeing and my GP have really gone out of their way when they've realised that I needed to see them. That's been a great help because getting past the people on reception at the surgery or getting an appointment quickly enough has sometimes been quite a barrier. My husband can be over-protective at times but it also helps that he can now recognise when it is necessary to call for outside help.

I have found keeping busy to be the most fantastic thing for my physical and mental health. I love being involved in things and doing things for other people, and find organising things easy and something I relish. In the past, I was involved with too many organisations and ended up running myself into the ground, but when I completely gave up all my activities, I just became depressed again. From reading and talking to people about leading a busy life and stress, I've learned that stress is just one response to the pressure you’re being put under. I now feel more relaxed, so if I'm unwell with ME, then I’ll rest, but as long as I’m feeling good, I will get involved in activities and with people, and will have plenty to do. It has also helped me that I have always been the sort of person who is good at finding out what help and activities are available. My receiving Disability Living Allowance has meant that I’ve not had to worry about spending money on things that I know will aid my physical and mental well being, though I found it very difficult to cope with filling in the forms.

I find it exhausting sometimes when people want to warn me against taking on too much. Not only do you have to do what you want to do, which for me, because of my chronic fatigue state, is quite difficult, but you also have to justify why you should be doing it to someone else! Others don’t know me and my capacities, and they don’t know what it’s like to be me doing very little, and me doing very little is not a person that I want to be. I want to be involved and active and I like being someone who makes things happen. A balance of work, rest and play is something I feel I've now achieved.

Various realisations that I have come to through my physical problems and other experiences are also helping me. I now realise that getting frustrated or angry wastes valuable energy, and I can choose not to respond in that way; also that I have value as a person, whether I'm active or not. It has also made me more accepting of people and I’m able to be more up front with them and say 'yes' or 'no' to a request, without feeling guilty about it. They also now see me in a more positive light as I'm not taking on things that I'm not well enough to do.

I live in a small town and living here has also been great, because there’s no need to hide. On the whole, it is a very open, tolerant place to live. I’ve never tried to keep that a secret from anybody and there's no great worry that you will be labelled. Learning that I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) has also been a welcome explanation for my winter depressions.

I can't climb Munroes anymore but I've come to terms with the physically disabling effects of the ME, and I am happy just do the things that I can still do. I'm now looking forward to the future as something to be enjoyed.

This story was written based on this individuals interview for the SRNs narrative research project entitled, 'Recovering Mental Health in Scotland'. More information about the project can be found in the Narrative Research Project section of our website www.scottishrecovery.net.

If you’d like to share your own experience of recovery please contact This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or 0141 240 7790 to discuss.

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Story disclaimer
The stories presented here are for information only. They are meant to inspire hope and show that recovery can and does happen. The stories highlight various examples of recovery and we do not advocate any of these experiences as the ‘right’ way to recover. Recovery is an individual and unique process, each person must decide for himself or herself what will work for them. Please carefully consider any decisions you make about your own recovery and consult with someone you trust if you feel unsure.
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