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Stories Narrative research project stories The High Notes
Stories Narrative research project stories The High Notes
The High Notes |
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bipolar disorder (manic depression) | divorce/break-up | female | medication | mother | self help groups | self knowledge/learning/growth | sense of self | support from family | support from mental health professionals | volunteering
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Published: September 2005 This story highlights how medication, support from a Community Psychiatric Nurse, and the local GP can help in recovery. I have lived with bipolar disorder now for over twenty years, basically since the birth of my last child. The doctors at the time told me they thought it could be caused by a hormone imbalance due to a late birth, but I wasn’t that old and I’ve never really agreed with that idea. I think with bipolar you can never say that you are going to be fully recovered, but I also think you can find ways of keeping yourself as well as possible and out of hospital and that to me is recovery. I’ve been married three times, but I’ve just split up with my third husband. Now I live on my own and I have realised that I’ve got to be very aware of my symptoms so that I can get support as soon as possible if I’m becoming unwell. Normally I’ll either phone my CPN or cry to my sister, and my sister will come up to the house very professional and say something like, “Well you know where you’re going,” and I’ll say, “Yeah it’s okay I’m already packed!” My youngest daughter is also very good at recognising my symptoms, but then she’s been brought up with my illness from day one really. She has no stigma about mental illness whatsoever, I mean, she learnt to roller-skate and ride her bike on the big paths up at the psychiatric hospital, because that’s where she spent so much time playing as a child during visiting hours. Since I split up with my second husband, my son has taken over the role of being the protector and doer of everything and anything I need. If I was to be in hospital he would be there twice a day, every day, because he suffers from mental illness himself and he knows what it’s like to be in hospital and how much you need regular visits from family and friends. I feel really lucky in the way that the help from professionals has just seemed to come right in when I need it, I’m just a phone call away from any help that I need. My CPN has been a great help, I can talk to her like you can talk a sister, but even closer because I can tell her about anything that has been upsetting me or whatever and I know it will go no further than my living room. She comes round about once a week, but if anything happens and I need her advice or support I can just phone her up and she’ll come over or arrange for me to see the psychiatrist. There was a time a while ago when I went three days without sleep and that’s a bad sign, which normally means I’m becoming unwell again. It’s always at the back of my mind that I’m going to be readmitted to hospital, but I plucked up the courage and phoned my CPN and said, “Look I’m really worried, I hafnae slept for three nights and I’m terrified that it’s the start of something.” So she came up and we spoke and she said, “No I think you’re just needing a sleep, so we’ll go up to the hospital and speak to the duty psychiatrist and see what they say.” I went up and spoke to the duty psychiatrist and came away with a prescription for some sleeping tablets. It was the first time I ever went up to the hospital and came back on the same day and I’ve never been frightened since. I now have the courage and the faith to pick up the phone and admit when there could be something wrong because my CPN is working so hard to help me stay well and out of hospital. My GP is great as well, I actually met him whilst he was doing his psych training when I was in hospital, and in a funny way that’s given me confidence in him and his ability to work with me. My medication also plays a big role in helping me to stay well. It’s taken time to find the right combination for me but when they did, within a fortnight I just seemed to lift and it was as though I had come out of a tunnel. I’m experiencing some side effects at the moment, but I won’t have my medication mucked about with because becoming unwell again is much worse than the hand tremors I’m getting. I used to work but had to give that up after I changed jobs and my new employers did not treat me and my illness with the respect that I had been used to in my previous job – in the end their negative attitude towards me was making me so ill that my CPN advised me to leave. Luckily I am entitled to a number of benefits, which I found out about through my CPN and a bipolar group I used to go to, so I don’t want, financially. I do meals on wheels a couple of days a week now though, because you’ve got to be able to say to yourself that on such and such a day I’ll be up, ready and out the door. Now I just try to keep myself motivated so that I never feel too down about what life has thrown at me. My biggest wish is just to be there for my kids and my family, especially those that look out for me. One of my daughters will call up and say “what do you think I should do about this or that mum?” and I’ll think, well at least I’m there for my kids. Mind you, when she asks me for relationship advice I just think, “I’ve had three marriages that have gone wrong so I’m still learning myself!” I’m proud that after everything I have been through I have still kept my personality, and I hope that anybody else who is experiencing bouts of illnesses like those I have been through will experience them on a high note, rather than a low note like I have had to do. This story was written based on this individuals interview for the SRNs narrative research project entitled, 'Recovering Mental Health in Scotland'. More information about the project can be found in the Narrative Research Project section of our website www.scottishrecovery.net. If you’d like to share your own experience of recovery please contact This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or 0141 240 7790 to discuss. Click here to go back to previous page |
Story Tags
activism community/socialising/inclusion coping strategies creativity depression employment (+) exercise female hospital male medication medication (-) peer support (informal) and befriending seeing things differently self knowledge/learning/growth self management sense of self support from family support from friends support from mental health professionals supportive spouse/partner taking control talking therapies voluntary mental health services volunteering Story disclaimer
The stories presented here are for information only. They are meant to inspire hope and show that recovery can and does happen. The stories highlight various examples of recovery and we do not advocate any of these experiences as the ‘right’ way to recover. Recovery is an individual and unique process, each person must decide for himself or herself what will work for them. Please carefully consider any decisions you make about your own recovery and consult with someone you trust if you feel unsure. See our Submit Your Thoughts pages for details on how to submit a story to us or you can contact us.
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