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Stories Narrative research project stories Tales of a 'Paranoid Schizophrenic'
Stories Narrative research project stories Tales of a 'Paranoid Schizophrenic'
Tales of a 'Paranoid Schizophrenic' |
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forensic services | hearing voices | male | medication | prison | schizophrenia | self knowledge/learning/growth | social work (+) | statutory mental health services (+) | support from family | support from mental health professionals | voluntary mental health services
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Published: November 2005 This story contains examples of how relationships with family and with people working in the field of mental health have helped in recovery. My life now is wonderful; I am a free man. If I want to go somewhere, all I need to do is jump on the bus with my pass and go, whereas before, my movements were severely restricted. I don’t think I’ll ever in my life be symptom free, I'll never be cured, but I've come a million miles. I've gone from complete desolation to being quite a vibrant human being. I’ve had a lot of very hard jobs and have had a colourful life. I have been in five prisons including a hospital for the criminally insane. There are probably a lot of seriously bad things that I've done, but that was the illness. I had bad voices in my head. I partly blame the voices for twice putting me in the secure hospital. When they put me on Risperidone, the paranoid voices left almost overnight - it was a Godsend. Time may also have played a part in my recovery, but it's been very slow. I've had a lot of help from experienced, trained nurses. They were hard and it was a strict regime, but I think I’m quite a strong personality, so a strict regime really helped me. They had faith in me when I had no faith in myself. I thought I was going to die there in that hole but they were right and I was wrong. My family has helped through the years. They offered me sympathy and, when I self-harmed, my mother bathed my wounds and gave me reassurance. My brother would also visit. My family nursed me through hell. My social worker has also done a lot for me, including helping me to get my own flat. I've got several support workers from the Richmond Fellowship, who offer practical and physical help - things like doing the dishes, cooking and cleaning. I go to a Day Centre where they provide meals, activities and days out. I’m gregarious; I thrive in other peoples company. People want to enjoy my company, and I've been helped by some nice folk. It’s not all one-way traffic - sometimes I'll take the staff for a coffee, sometimes they will buy me one. I wish I hadn't tried so many serious attempts at suicide and self-harm. I was a very hard worker and I miss having the ability to work hard - I couldn’t do it now. I’m ashamed of how indolent I’ve become, but basically I think I’m a nice guy; I’d rather be doing a good turn than a bad one. The way I see it is that I’ve lived more than two thirds of my life, so what life I have left, I want to enjoy. I would like to stay living in my flat and enjoy life. I’ve been in a few fights in my day but I’ve learned not to lash out nowadays. If I never fling a punch at anybody for the rest of my life, I’ll be a happy man; I’ve sworn at a couple of my support workers, but nobody always agrees with everything that other people say! At one point, when I was in hospital, I asked my mum, “Will I ever see my home again? Will I ever go to a family function again?” She said, “Of course you will, son” and I’ve been to about five weddings since I came back. This story was written based on this individuals interview for the SRNs narrative research project entitled, 'Recovering Mental Health in Scotland'. More information about the project can be found in the Narrative Research Project section of our website www.scottishrecovery.net. If you’d like to share your own experience of recovery please contact This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or 0141 240 7790 to discuss. Click here to go back to previous page |
Story Tags
activism community/socialising/inclusion coping strategies creativity depression employment (+) exercise female hospital male medication medication (-) peer support (informal) and befriending seeing things differently self knowledge/learning/growth self management sense of self support from family support from friends support from mental health professionals supportive spouse/partner taking control talking therapies voluntary mental health services volunteering Story disclaimer
The stories presented here are for information only. They are meant to inspire hope and show that recovery can and does happen. The stories highlight various examples of recovery and we do not advocate any of these experiences as the ‘right’ way to recover. Recovery is an individual and unique process, each person must decide for himself or herself what will work for them. Please carefully consider any decisions you make about your own recovery and consult with someone you trust if you feel unsure. See our Submit Your Thoughts pages for details on how to submit a story to us or you can contact us.
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