Renewed Hope | Stories from the narrative research project

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Renewed Hope

Published: November 2005

This story shows how support from individuals with similar experiences can impact on recovery.

At the moment I feel that I am recovered enough that I can lead a meaningful and fulfilling life. The mood swings and periods of being well and unwell have put me through the wringer, but going through all these experiences and learning from them has made me more able to cope. I have got some hope for the future, which I didn’t have before.

I have an illness, called bipolar disorder, which is cyclical. There are periods of being very up, and others of being very down, and in between episodes of being ill, I can be very well. There are different sets of problems to deal with depending on whether you've been very high and done lots of daft and dangerous things, or if you've been very low and you can't move or look after yourself and feel suicidal. Then you recover and forget how bad it was when you were really unwell. You hope that you won't get unwell again, but you can have a big relapse for no particular reason. My psychiatrist says it's just the nature of the beast.

Now I worry much less about being unwell. I still don't know when it starts how long it's going to last - but know that I won’t get better at all if I sit there worrying about it. I have learned that I will always get better after each period of being unwell and am now able to cope better with it when it happens. Insight into how unwell I am is something I have always had, so I can take steps to prevent me getting really bad. I've also developed mechanisms, like recognising my symptoms, to help me cope with different situations and I now get a lot of support from both formal and informal networks. So in spite of having been unwell quite a lot in the last couple of years, I feel positive about my recovery.

In the first couple of years of my illness, I was actually treated for the wrong disorder and they were giving me antidepressants that made my illness worse. Once they realised this and I had the right diagnosis and treatment, I recovered really quickly. It was almost as if something changed in my brain; it seemed to fix a whole load of things in my head and I didn’t have a constant feeling of being mentally unwell.

I attended day hospital instead of in-patient treatment which was really helpful because I knew that not only were there other services to support me and help me socialise, but there were also the nursing staff around and counselling available. When my drug treatments weren’t working, it was good to know I had the nurses around to support me.

Also really helpful early on was having a Community Psychiatric nurse (CPN) doing home visits. She was a go-between between the doctors and me and would recognise when I was really unwell, and would help to prevent a situation from getting into a crisis. Most helpful was the chance to offload to a professional and get their advice and support.

The CPN also helped me with the practical problems of living. When I am unwell, I don’t eat properly; I withdraw from normal activities and don’t socialise or go out. My CPN gave me tips on how to look after myself, prodded me into trying things that I otherwise wouldn’t try, and pointed out how beneficial it is to socialise and take exercise. I've learned that when I’m really low, I have to move, eat and leave the house because otherwise I end up housebound and bed ridden and not able to do anything. As I live on my own, I am forced to do the normal things that you've got to do to survive, like going to the supermarket. Sometimes this is horrendously difficult but it has actually helped, as by repeatedly having to do these things I have found ways to cope.

The main thing that has helped my recovery has been the support from friends who also have mental health problems. I went along to a local drop-in centre provided by the NSF (National Schizophrenia Fellowship) and had the chance to talk to other people there about things that I couldn't offload on friends and relatives, and it was really helpful. Even if you’re discussing how you don’t like your doctors or nurses, you find that there are people there with the same experiences. The support you get from the mental health services, from family – all the statutory things that are provided – none of them can compare with the love, compassion and support you get from friends with mental health problems. This often kept me going through a week when I was feeling dreadful. I still go along when I'm well because I know that it gives my friends a huge boost if they are feeling unwell and conversely, if I'm feeling bad, then I enjoy their support.

Apart from the NSF, the big thing in my recovery over the last couple of years has been my membership of the region's Users Group. We take part in anti-stigma campaigns, tell our story and made a video about the stigma experienced by those in employment. It is a bit like having a part-time occupation. I go to meetings with some fairly high-up people, from the Scottish Executive, the local Council and the NHS. We have made significant impact and I feel really proud that I have helped other people by telling my story. It has helped me enormously and has felt good to be invited to these things; it means I must be doing a good job.

I have found out a lot about my condition and accept that my disorder is not going to go away, but I know I can get drug treatments that will allow me to recover and do all the everyday activities that other people do - and eventually go back to work. The hope is that I can keep well for years at a time rather than months. It is a difficult journey, but the more you fight, the better able you are to deal with your illness and the easier it gets.

This story was written based on this individuals interview for the SRNs narrative research project entitled, 'Recovering Mental Health in Scotland'. More information about the project can be found in the Narrative Research Project section of our website www.scottishrecovery.net.

If you’d like to share your own experience of recovery please contact This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or 0141 240 7790 to discuss.

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Story disclaimer

The stories presented here are for information only. They are meant to inspire hope and show that recovery can and does happen. The stories highlight various examples of recovery and we do not advocate any of these experiences as the ‘right’ way to recover. Recovery is an individual and unique process, each person must decide for himself or herself what will work for them. Please carefully consider any decisions you make about your own recovery and consult with someone you trust if you feel unsure.

See our Submit Your Thoughts pages for details on how to submit a story to us or you can contact us.