Patience Vs Frustration | Stories from the narrative research project

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Patience Vs Frustration

Published: December 2005

This story shows how having a positive attitude, learning about self and acquiring new skills has helped in recovery.

The main things that have changed during my recovery are my attitudes; the way I think about and tackle things has changed. I am being more patient with myself and with other people. I try to accept that I can't do everything at once or everything that I want to do, or think that I have to do. It's been a long process and I have had to have a lot of patience, but I've started to think more about my approach.

I have had problems with anxiety, depression, and also Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I used to rush into things and get very angry with myself if I made what I thought were mistakes, or if I felt I hadn't made the right decision. I also tended to think a lot, why is this happening to me? Why me? I've now learned to say to myself, “Well, it's part of my learning about myself and other people” and I try to accept that I'm human and that I'm going to make mistakes. Thinking in this way is helping to give me more peace of mind.

I've learned these things both through listening to other people and from deciding the best way to do things myself. Services have been a lot of help; in the hospital - Occupational Therapy and the Community Psychiatric Nurse (CPN), and out-with the hospital, a number of organisations including a project run by the Richmond Fellowship, where I currently meet up with a support worker. They have been very supportive and have helped to build up my confidence.

My CPN helped a lot when I had setbacks to my recovery. My mother was very ill and was diagnosed with schizophrenia, which was a very difficult thing to accept. We generally had a very difficult relationship. But I spoke to the CPN about it and she helped me be more realistic and accepting about how the relationship was going. I've also been divorced twice, which had really affected me, and the way things turned out after that brought me down. The CPN allowed me to talk it through so, again, I could think more realistically about it. I realised that the situation wasn't black and white, and not the fault of just one person. I was also diagnosed at the age of 21 with Turner’s Syndrome (a chromosomal abnormality). I have also been learning about how this could affect my mood and ways of dealing with daily problems. I also saw a psychologist while I was in hospital, which prompted me to seek out counselling for myself. Counselling has been a big help, allowing me to see that I can make a lot of changes in the way I think about things.

I didn't really feel that being in hospital actually helped at the time but, looking back, I can see that it was what I needed. I had a bad reaction to an anti-depressant tablet and was having flashbacks and feeling really flushed, sweaty and nervous. Trying anti-depressants was a process of trial and error. I had to try two or three different ones before finding one that suited me. I have now been on the same antidepressant for over 10 years and it has helped the depression and the OCD.

Having some very good friends has also helped; in particular, an old school friend. She has helped me to think about other people and not to dwell on things so much, which I have had a tendency to do.

I now try to spend more time actually doing things, instead of sitting at home thinking about what I could be doing. I do Art and Craft at a work-based project. It's hands-on making stuff and at first I wasn't sure if it was the right thing for me, but now I feel that it is helping my confidence a lot. I'm also involved with another project, which deals with jobs and placements. I would like to think I am moving towards work.

I also have animals at home, which gives me a lot of comfort. Walking the dog and just having the animals around helps to take my mind off things.

My journey has been a learning process and, in a way, it has been a good thing for me. Experiences haven't always been easy but it's helped me to mature as a person. Speaking to people, my friends and CPN, has made me realise that, yes, I have had difficult experiences, but I'm not the only one who has experienced these. And there is light at the end of the tunnel. I'm still learning about patience, listening and understanding. I hope to carry on learning new skills and am trying to keep positive about the things I am now doing. I would like just to stick with that and keep up that momentum.

This story was written based on this individuals interview for the SRNs narrative research project entitled, 'Recovering Mental Health in Scotland'. More information about the project can be found in the Narrative Research Project section of our website www.scottishrecovery.net.

If you’d like to share your own experience of recovery please contact This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or 0141 240 7790 to discuss.

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Story disclaimer

The stories presented here are for information only. They are meant to inspire hope and show that recovery can and does happen. The stories highlight various examples of recovery and we do not advocate any of these experiences as the ‘right’ way to recover. Recovery is an individual and unique process, each person must decide for himself or herself what will work for them. Please carefully consider any decisions you make about your own recovery and consult with someone you trust if you feel unsure.

See our Submit Your Thoughts pages for details on how to submit a story to us or you can contact us.