My Time |
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alcohol | depression | divorce/break-up | exercise | healthy eating | self knowledge/learning/growth | self management | sense of self | single parent | sleep | taking control
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Published: December 2005 This story highlights how self-knowledge and self-monitoring are important to recovery. A year after I had moved out of the family home with my kids I got a bad case of the flu and I had to start resting. Before that I had been struggling with feeling depressed, but I had tried to ignore the problem because the big fear when I was unwell was ‘what’s going to happen to my children?’ Especially as I am a single parent and if I don’t handle this right, will my children be taken away? I was doing the basics, making sure clothes were clean and the children were fed and going to school, but there was very little emotional back-up for them. And I was too scared to ask for help from anyone but my friends. When the flu forced me to take to my bed I realised that I had to rest for more than just the sake of my physical health. To keep well mentally, you have to be as physically fit as you can, the two are definitely linked. In the end the flu developed into severe bronchitis; I’ve never had bronchitis in my life, and I was pretty ill physically. But as I got better I started to realise that if I took more control of the physical side of my health the mental side would move on from there. I’ve suffered from IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) for about two and a half years, and when I was unwell it was really bad. I was just eating anything that I could find because I knew the next morning I would just have to eat one wrong thing and I would be really suffering all day. I was boozing too much as well, although I’m not an alcoholic or a heavy drinker normally. Okay, I do like a wee smooge of wine now and again, but I was drinking spirits during the day, which wasn’t helping my IBS or my depression. I have a good network of friends and they helped me to cope through this time. As I began to stop the drinking and start eating more sensibly I started to feel better in my head as well. At the moment my IBS is controllable, which is great. I discovered my particular remedy myself, and that’s to eat small amounts regularly. Now that I’m feeling better I can get out more, and walking around and taking physical exercise definitely helps. Now if I feel tired in the day I stop and rest because when I’m tired I start to sink. I’ve learned to make sure that I get enough rest. I value my sleep now and I know that it’s all right to sleep when you need to sleep, it really is. I don’t think being bombarded by lots of stimuli like the Internet and TV helps me to sleep or stay well, especially the Internet. I don’t completely avoid the Internet and TV at the moment but I strictly ration myself as to how long I go on for and when I go on it. I‘ve also realised that I have to go at my own pace because I can’t go at anybody else’s now, and that’s a huge part of staying well. I’ve got to do it my way and not feel like it’s selfishness. We’re told to just get on with it but we are not all Superwoman, able to juggle families and careers and party all night. Taking control meant knowing my limitations and learning to say saying “no” to people who were trying to take too much of my time and not feeling guilty about it. That still wavers from time to time, but I’m getting better at realising that I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do because this is my time. Part of that has been about developing the ability to let go of the people and behaviours and ideas that damage me. I can walk along the street now and know I did the right thing letting go instead of feeling guilty. I’m not uncomfortable with being by myself now, but on a Saturday night when I was unwell I had to go out, I couldn’t stay in by myself. Now on a Saturday night I’m contented to stay in; I buy myself some steak and watch the telly and I’m happy and that’s good enough for me. There’s not the desperation to be in company any more, any company, even if it was inappropriate and doing me harm. Feeling recovered is so empowering and I would like to stay well, but because of the nature of my illness I know I’ll trip over myself many a time to come. But I can look after myself and look in on myself now, and that will help me to stop my illness creeping up on me again and getting really bad. I think of my recovery as a kind of road really - a road with lots of signposts like with my bed on one, good food, my friends, a bottle of wine and a steak here and there and one with big cross where the computer is. I’m just trying to follow the right signs and avoid the pitfalls. My mental health is my priority now and I’m determined keep myself as well as I can. This story was written based on this individuals interview for the SRNs narrative research project entitled, 'Recovering Mental Health in Scotland'. More information about the project can be found in the Narrative Research Project section of our website www.scottishrecovery.net. If you’d like to share your own experience of recovery please contact This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or 0141 240 7790 to discuss. Click here to go back to previous page |
Story Tags
activism community/socialising/inclusion coping strategies creativity depression employment (+) exercise female hospital male medication medication (-) peer support (informal) and befriending seeing things differently self knowledge/learning/growth self management sense of self support from family support from friends support from mental health professionals supportive spouse/partner taking control talking therapies voluntary mental health services volunteering Story disclaimer
The stories presented here are for information only. They are meant to inspire hope and show that recovery can and does happen. The stories highlight various examples of recovery and we do not advocate any of these experiences as the ‘right’ way to recover. Recovery is an individual and unique process, each person must decide for himself or herself what will work for them. Please carefully consider any decisions you make about your own recovery and consult with someone you trust if you feel unsure. See our Submit Your Thoughts pages for details on how to submit a story to us or you can contact us.
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