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Stories Narrative research project stories My Journey from the Dark to the Dawn
Stories Narrative research project stories My Journey from the Dark to the Dawn
My Journey from the Dark to the Dawn |
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depression | employment (+) | isolation | letting go of the past | physical illness | self help | self knowledge/learning/growth | stigma/discrimination | support from mental health professionals | taking control
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Published: December 2005 This story shows how self-help, self-determination and commitment to self and recovery can aid in recovery. My recovery means getting back to a normal, or as near to normal life as I can. There was one stage when I was ill where I was invited out socially and I wasn’t enjoying it; I was sitting there, isolated. People were having drinks and having a good time and I was just sitting, not socialising or mixing with other people, I was very withdrawn and that’s not the kind of person I am. Most of the getting better side of it, I feel I’ve done most of it myself. It’s been selfhelp; I was just determined to get better. I think that probably it must just be in my own psychological make up. I did seek professional help and the psychiatrist was supportive. I would like to have seen the psychiatrist more often than I did but obviously his time was limited. I always looked forward to going to see him because he was somebody to talk to. He’s an expert, he sees other people and he was able to assess me. I’d always ask him, “So, do you think I’m any better than the last time I was here?” and he said I was progressing quicker than most of his other patients were, which was a really positive boost when it came from him. He said a lot of people are nervous when they come in, but I wasn’t because I’d made up my mind that I was going to get better one way or another. Unfortunately my psychiatrist is going away to work at a different hospital and somebody else is going to take on the case, but it’s going to be four or five months before I see that person. I was referred to a psychologist and I don’t know exactly what they’re going to do for me. It’s a minimum of thirteen weeks before I see them as well, of which about six weeks have already passed. So right now I really feel I am on my own again. The main thing that’s helped me, I would say, is that I’m working in the family business again; I’ve just immersed myself more or less. I’m quite happy to go and do manual work, I quite like servicing the vehicles. I couldn’t do the mental work the same, I knew I couldn’t, but I wanted to be positive so I’ve done more manual work like in the fields and what not. When I’m working and I’m focussed, I’ve got things to do and it takes my mind off all the pain and things that have happened in the past. I feel I’ve tired myself out and I can’t do as much physically, and that’s when things can come back to haunt me. It’s been hard sometimes; people don’t accept my depression as well as they would a broken leg or a broken arm or something. I mean if I’d had a broken leg or a broken arm people would have had sympathy for me. It’s hindered me more to a certain extent because it depresses me that people don’t really understand it. But when things are negative towards me I say to myself, “I’m going to get over this, I’m going to show them that I can get over this and get on.” Overall, it comes in waves but I do feel I’m climbing out of it. I’ve learned not to rush at things, just take one day at a time. The days that I am a bit depressed or tired, I just stop for a bit. My advice is to believe there is a future. You have to believe that you will get better and remember you have the rest or your life to lead. Think about what are you’re in the mope about, what’s happened in the past you can’t do anything about and although you’d like to go back you’ve just got to try and put the past behind you. But you have to learn from the past, not exclude it totally but try and learn from it. Remember that if you make the effort you will get better and you will be able to make the journey from the dark to the dawn. This story was written based on this individuals interview for the SRNs narrative research project entitled, 'Recovering Mental Health in Scotland'. More information about the project can be found in the Narrative Research Project section of our website www.scottishrecovery.net. If you’d like to share your own experience of recovery please contact This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or 0141 240 7790 to discuss. Click here to go back to previous page |
Story Tags
activism community/socialising/inclusion coping strategies creativity depression employment (+) exercise female hospital male medication medication (-) peer support (informal) and befriending seeing things differently self knowledge/learning/growth self management sense of self support from family support from friends support from mental health professionals supportive spouse/partner taking control talking therapies voluntary mental health services volunteering Story disclaimer
The stories presented here are for information only. They are meant to inspire hope and show that recovery can and does happen. The stories highlight various examples of recovery and we do not advocate any of these experiences as the ‘right’ way to recover. Recovery is an individual and unique process, each person must decide for himself or herself what will work for them. Please carefully consider any decisions you make about your own recovery and consult with someone you trust if you feel unsure. See our Submit Your Thoughts pages for details on how to submit a story to us or you can contact us.
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