Keeping the Voices at Bay | Stories from the narrative research project

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Keeping the Voices at Bay

Published: September 2005

This story contains examples of how medication, accepting diagnosis and connecting with mental health groups, such as the National Schizophrenia Fellowship (NSF), have impacted on recovery.

Recovery is a difficult concept when applied to manic depression or schizophrenia. Being fully recovered to me means holding down a full-time job and stopping medication. I’m retired now but for a long time keeping my condition a secret from my employers was a major preoccupation. It wasn’t until I retired that I realised how well I’d done holding down a job. I haven’t been in hospital since I retired and someone commented that it was probably due to being away from the stress of my job.

I used to volunteer in charity shops; I might be tempted to do voluntary work again but it would depend on how interesting it was. I wish I’d learned a long time ago that I’m happier on my own. If I’d come to terms with my illness sooner I would have avoided marriage, which I embarked upon twice, both unsuccessfully.

The first reaction when you’re diagnosed is rejection. My first contact with psychiatrists was in 1970 when I was 25. I regret the years of rejecting the diagnosis. I was first aware that there was something wrong at the age of 12 when I was doing the 11+, it turned out to be much more serious than just ‘nerves’. It didn’t come to a head until I was in my mid-twenties, when I was visiting my brother overseas. It was my brother who recognised the symptoms and arranged for me to see a psychiatrist. He’s the only one who will talk to me about it, for the rest of my family it’s a big taboo.

I try to avoid stress and its triggers as much as possible. I tend to get worked up if I take on too much. I wrote an article for the local paper on living with schizophrenia about 10 years ago, which was quite a stressful experience. The medication does keep the voices at bay but I don’t need as much as I used to. Largactyl suited me but it does make your skin sensitive to the sun and I ended up getting skin cancer as a result.

There was nothing for people with schizophrenia up until the eighties. It’s a shame there wasn’t more support when I was younger and in need of it. I’ve been going to the National Schizophrenia Fellowship (NSF) for years. They are familiar with the illness there, which helps. I enjoy the outings and the one to one support if I need it. I go a number of other centres for people with a wide range of mental health problems but I like the NSF one best; I like the opportunity to socialise. We don’t just talk about mental health issues all the time. I also used to talk to the nurse at the college where I worked when things got bad. I’ve got three or four friends who I meet regularly for a drink, mostly from mental health circles.

The key milestones on the recovery journey for me have been: -

accepting the diagnosis around age 35
taking medication regularly
making contact with groups and opening up about the illness to people
learning to recognise the symptoms and either upping the medication or going into hospital

Getting the dosage of medication right is a matter of trial and error, but it’s all community care now and they’re very reluctant to hospitalise you. I’m being managed by my GP now and I don’t see the psychiatrist any more.

This story was written based on this individuals interview for the SRNs narrative research project entitled, 'Recovering Mental Health in Scotland'. More information about the project can be found in the Narrative Research Project section of our website www.scottishrecovery.net.

If you’d like to share your own experience of recovery please contact This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or 0141 240 7790 to discuss.

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Story disclaimer

The stories presented here are for information only. They are meant to inspire hope and show that recovery can and does happen. The stories highlight various examples of recovery and we do not advocate any of these experiences as the ‘right’ way to recover. Recovery is an individual and unique process, each person must decide for himself or herself what will work for them. Please carefully consider any decisions you make about your own recovery and consult with someone you trust if you feel unsure.

See our Submit Your Thoughts pages for details on how to submit a story to us or you can contact us.