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Stories Narrative research project stories Gaining Insight
Stories Narrative research project stories Gaining Insight
Gaining Insight |
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alcohol | cognitive therapy | coping strategies | depression | hospital | impact of events from childhood/adolescence | professional | self help | self knowledge/learning/growth | sense of self | stigma/discrimination
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Published: December 2005 This story highlights how self-knowledge and learning new skills has helped with recovery. I don’t think I am recovered, but there are some things I can do now that I couldn’t have done three years ago when I was first ill. I don’t have the constant depression that I had, and physically I am better than I was. I am a recovering alcoholic and Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) has helped me since 1982. Their 12-step recovery programme has also helped with my mental health problem. The people there understand that you have these problems that you have to deal with. It’s a fellowship, so I can go along and I’ll see someone I haven’t seen for maybe 10 years and there is a relationship between us, in spite of our having different backgrounds. Three years ago, I had a complete mental breakdown because of my lifestyle and problems I was having at home with my daughter. My GP, in conjunction with the psychiatrist, decided that I should go to a day unit at a mental hospital. They did things there like anxiety management, which I’d already done, but also others like motivation and anger management and the nurses there asked questions. I went to a small cognitive therapy group - it's to get your cognitive thinking straight - and listened to the other people there. I learned that you behave in patterns related to your core beliefs. I recognised that this was something I was doing, and identified what some of my core beliefs were, which I didn't even know I had. For instance, I believed that I had to keep other people happy or make them feel better or do what they required. I realised that I didn’t know who I was because I hadn’t been anything except these things for other people. It was quite distressing to learn that I had spent all my life being such a 'non-person’. But you can't start to recover until you know what is wrong with you. Learning a couple of things about the way I behaved was the most helpful thing I got from going to the day hospital. During the time I have been ill, I’ve gained a lot of insight into myself, into things that I hadn’t dealt with and my core beliefs that had caused me problems. A lot of things I had done were because the family had such great expectations of me. I’ve now changed a lot of those things - for instance, I don’t now allow my family to do the things to me that they used to do - now I don’t run when they want something. If my mother phones me up and puts me down, I don’t accept it anymore. I also understand now that it was because I went to so many different schools when I was a child that I gave up on having long-term friendships. Now I am beginning to make friends with more people. I also struggled to accept that 'somebody like me' – who had done a PhD, was in senior management at my work and had been told that I was executive material - could have a breakdown. There used to be a terrible stigma attached to people with mental health problems and the family I come from are tough Scottish people who don’t allow people to know the sort of things that are wrong with you. It took 2 years for me to accept that it was all right to be ill in that way. It's a question of doing small things. If you look at all the things that you need to do, that stops you doing anything, because you can’t cope with it all in one go. My whole house needs things doing to it as but I'm learning that if you do a corner, it’s a success. It doesn’t matter if you come out the other end a different person because the person that I was then was going to have to deal with this at some point. Even if I hadn’t had all the problems with my daughter, at some point something would have happened to bring me to the point where I was going to have to deal with things. This story was written based on this individuals interview for the SRNs narrative research project entitled, 'Recovering Mental Health in Scotland'. More information about the project can be found in the Narrative Research Project section of our website www.scottishrecovery.net. If you’d like to share your own experience of recovery please contact This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or 0141 240 7790 to discuss. Click here to go back to previous page |
Story Tags
activism community/socialising/inclusion coping strategies creativity depression employment (+) exercise female hospital male medication medication (-) peer support (informal) and befriending seeing things differently self knowledge/learning/growth self management sense of self support from family support from friends support from mental health professionals supportive spouse/partner taking control talking therapies voluntary mental health services volunteering Story disclaimer
The stories presented here are for information only. They are meant to inspire hope and show that recovery can and does happen. The stories highlight various examples of recovery and we do not advocate any of these experiences as the ‘right’ way to recover. Recovery is an individual and unique process, each person must decide for himself or herself what will work for them. Please carefully consider any decisions you make about your own recovery and consult with someone you trust if you feel unsure. See our Submit Your Thoughts pages for details on how to submit a story to us or you can contact us.
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