Avoid the Magic Mushrooms | Stories from the narrative research project

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Avoid the Magic Mushrooms

Published: September 2005

This story contains examples of how medication, hospital, and day centers, such as the National Schizophrenia Fellowship (NSF) have impacted on recovery.

I started self-harming in puberty after being sexually abused. I was ashamed to confide in anyone about it. Then in my late teens and early twenties I took a lot of illegal drugs and really went to town on the magic mushrooms; they really fried my brains. In my twenties I was drinking heavily and took a lot of overdoses. After that I was in hospital for a long time – 18 months. The depression is still bad to this day. It’s just a question of learning to deal with it. Time helps with bad depression. Sometimes I despised being in hospital but I liked the security of it.

I live on my own in a council flat and have a wee community of people like myself that I hang around with. I go to a day centre run by the National Schizophrenia Fellowship, and also an NHS one to get my medication. The Richmond Fellowship gives me support 6 hours a week, they’re what keep me going and I like the friendly faces. Having a structure to my day is very important to me, it means I have to get up and out in the morning.

I‘ve only worked for 18 months since I left school, doing labouring, and not at all since my diagnosis of schizophrenia twenty years ago. I tried to go back to labouring once but broke down again. Work is too stressful but it seems like you only get respect from people if you’re working. Being respected for who I am is very important to me. I’m respectful to others so I hope that they’ll be respectful back.

I get a lot of suicidal thoughts, but a distraction like listening to music or watching telly helps. I don’t like burdening people with my suicidal thoughts and feelings though. There seems to be a taboo against talking about self-harm, suicide or sexual-abuse. I don’t usually tell the doctors and nurses.

I loved trains as a child and still enjoy train spotting, playing the guitar and writing poetry. I’d like to learn some new skills and maybe do some volunteering.

This story was written based on this individuals interview for the SRNs narrative research project entitled, 'Recovering Mental Health in Scotland'. More information about the project can be found in the Narrative Research Project section of our website www.scottishrecovery.net.

If you’d like to share your own experience of recovery please contact This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or 0141 240 7790 to discuss.

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Story disclaimer

The stories presented here are for information only. They are meant to inspire hope and show that recovery can and does happen. The stories highlight various examples of recovery and we do not advocate any of these experiences as the ‘right’ way to recover. Recovery is an individual and unique process, each person must decide for himself or herself what will work for them. Please carefully consider any decisions you make about your own recovery and consult with someone you trust if you feel unsure.

See our Submit Your Thoughts pages for details on how to submit a story to us or you can contact us.